What I Learned from Preachers of L.A. - a Pastor from the Bay

I heard a trailer or promotional feature, where one of the preachers in the new series Preachers of L.A. said something interesting. (I can glean something of value from everything. There are things that can be learned from Preachers of L.A).

The preacher of L.A. said "I had no choice but to move on."   In life we do have to move forward. He moved forward. There is nothing wrong with that.

We have all made mistakes. So we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move forward.
 

But some of us wallow in the past and when time moves us forward we take the baggage of the past with us. So it is never a clean break with the past. We never fully recover. We never fully get over the past. 

Think about it. When post traumatic memories intrude into the present, does it not mean that you are stuck in the past too (even though you don't want to be).

Who wants to get stuck in the past? No one. So give yourself a little emotional check up with this questionnaire (it is not scientific or to diagnose anything  it is just to start exporation of the topic of negative emotions)



Am I beating myself up over some mistake I made?

Do I resent something from the past?

Do I have a grudge against someone from the past?

Do I secretly blame myself for something that happened to me?

Do I resent others for not understanding me or for not caring?

Do I resent others for being better off than me?

Am I resenting others for their help that is not really helping?


 If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you may enjoy reading this information.

Resentment contributes to keeping the past alive. It was resentment in the first place that helped to implant the traumatic memories and negative suggestions.

Now it is resentment that sustains them.

I understand that things can and do happen to us that are not our fault -especially when we are kids. You cannot help where you were born, or what family you were born into or what others did to you or failed to do. Undoubtedly you resented them for their cruelty, tease or for what someone let happen to you. Especially parents, and especially your dad.

But you did resent them. And the resentment then was the mechanism that permitted the implanting of negative suggestions.

Understand this - cruel and thoughtless people sometimes have a sixth sense about how to be creatively cruel. They know that when you become emotional and especially when you become resentful, negative suggestions tend to stick.

So the cruel person may have suggested that it was your fault that the bad thing happened to you. In your emotional state (and guilty for resenting) you accepted the suggestion, and now it haunts you in the subconscious, ruining your life and surfacing in all your relationships in the present.

The greatest psychologist that ever lived said "forgive them." Do you now see the brilliance of this? 
 Translate the word "forgive" as "do not resent."

To forgive means to drop the resentment.
To forgive means don't resent.

Now let us fast forward to some of you who experienced trauma as adults or young adults. Look carefully to see if there is not some resentment now involved.

Do you resent yourself and blame yourself? Do you blame someone else? Blame usually contains an element of resentment.

Sometimes there is some truth in the realization of one's own part of what happened. If you were looking at you iPhone when the accident happened, it might not have happened if you were paying attention instead of looking to see who texted you.If you joined a sports team, gave your all, and were injured, maybe you should not have believed all the hype about how great it was going to be. If there was a divorce - undoubtedly you may have contributed to the issues.

But here is the secret to recovery - it is okay to see your error and regret it. Just don't resent it and don't resent seeing it. It is okay to discern error. Just don't resent it.

Take resentment out of everything.

There. Now that you have read this, be quiet with it and don't resent it. Get one of my meditations to help anchor you in the present (instead of drifting away with daydreams and memories of the past). It is in the present that insight and repair can occur. It is not lost in thoughts and the negative suggestions that lurk down there where you will find recuperative inner resources.

While the classic 4 part meditation is more elaborate and comprehensive, and includes 2 eBooks and a booklet, you may just stat with the free 5 minute meditation. In fact there is also a free mobile app for the 5 minute meditation.