The Role of Resentment in Depression and How to Let Go of Resentment

Hello, I am a spiritual care giver. I like what Dr Peter Breggin had to say:

  Despite all the emphasis of giving drugs to depressed people, many recover from depression with time on their own, while others receive help from a variety of sources, including therapy, family, and religion. Depression is a loss of hope. . . . The restoration of hope is key to overcoming depression and hope can come from many sources. The alternative to antidepressants is all of life: romantic love, family, friends, community, nature, and religion all help people overcome depression. Scientific studies show that ever  

Before my essay about depression from a spiritual caregiver's perspective, I want to share a couple of interesting articles I just read on the topic of chemical imbalance. I find them to be a breath of fresh air and educational too. Let's begin with a short video series that is easy to watch and understand


Simple Truths About Psychiatry by Peter Breggin, MD

1. Do You Have a Biochemical Imbalance?
2. How Do Psychiatric Drugs Really Work?
3. What is Medication Spellbinding?
4. How to Help Deeply Disturbed Persons
5. How to Help Suicidal Depressed Persons

  The presentations are lively and to the point. Further information on all the topics can be found in Dr. Breggin’s many books and articles including his newest book, Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal: A Guide for Prescribers, Therapists, Patients and their Families.




Here's are a couple of excerpts from articles I enjoyed

The Chemical Imbalance Myth from Beyond Meds 


"Beyond Meds and anyone who’s actually paid attention to the science for the last many years has known that the serotonin myth about depression and how antidepressants work has no evidence to back it up whatsoever. So when it all came out in an NPR interview I pretty much just yawned. Yes, I’m tired and I’ve been steeped in some of this stuff for far too long.
So, I am now realizing that for the vast majority of folks this is shocking news. So…I will do a little round-up here for some of my readers who may not be so familiar with this issue."

 If Depression is not a Chemical Imbalance, What is It?

"(NaturalNews) Contemporary scientific culture has fed us the mantra that depression is the result of a chemical imbalance for so long now that the premise is rarely questioned by the general public."

Hope you enjoy the above free resources. Now here is my essay. It is just my opinion,  but I am pleased to say that all I have learned in 23 years of research and counseling has only reinforced what I knew in my heart long ago. 

 
We all need something to look forward to. In this respect, you can already see how spirituality is involved. Hope is a derivative of faith, hope is a form and result of of faith. 

We also need something to identify with - something (someone actually) who we can trust, who will be there, and who loves us.  Many women cast their lot with a man, who they become entangled with, and when he fails to be the knight in shining armor, she begins to resent him. And since resentment is the negation of love (you cannot love and resent at the same time), she feels unloved. 

We all potentially have a ground from which we can live and move and have our being. This ground is actually the Creator, and if we find Him we can then remain in touch with Him and experience his grace and feel in His good graces by doing one very simple thing: not resenting others. 

Love comes from within. If it is in a good man, it is not his but comes through him. If it is in you, it is not a feeling but a quiet peace and feeling like something good is about to happen. 

If it is in a woman, it comes from within in one of two ways. If she happens to have a good father or happens to be married to a really good man, a man she can respect and in whom she sees something good, a man who is patient, kind and courageous and who loves her for herself--she can feel very secure. Loving the good in the man is the same as loving God, since the good in the man that she respects and loves is not from him but coming through him through his love of God and principle.

But many women do not have a father or husband like the one I just described. Most likely he is a bit weak, woman oriented, and more like a big kid than a fatherly tower of strength. 

But let me just say that she can also find the love of God from within, all by herself, coming from her innermost ground of being, if and this is the big if--she does not resent her husband. Or for that matter, if she does not resent her father, husband, or all men. 

Resentment cuts you off from God's love. You are not in His good graces or pleasing to Him when you resent other people. Resentment also includes judgment--condemning another, usually secretly, with a pre-formed negative disapproval of them. How easy it is to judge men. How it puffs a woman up in pride and makes her contemptuous of the weak and wrong men she has known.   It makes her feel superior. But it also separates her from love from within.

Now do you see the resentment/judgment and depression connection. The sense of inner peace and the sense that something good is about to happen, and the sense of being loved--these are all intertwined. 

Here is a spiritual secret. Love is in everything God does.  Love and his eternal consistency and providence are two sides of the same coin. Thus when we know (quietly sense, without knowing how we know, but we just know) that He is there and that He cares, we sense both love and hope.

We humans are supposed to be creatures of love. Look at little children and you will see that they are full of love. But when we grow up, we become resentful, judgment, and hardened. These effectively cut you off from love. And without God's love, no wonder you feel empty. No wonder you feel depressed.

But here is another secret. God's love is always there. His forgiveness is always there. His peace is always there. 

You are there sitting in your mental basement among negative memories and unhappy thoughts. Down there in the basement, you do not feel the warmth and see the beauty of the sunlight. But it is still there. Down in your mental basement you do not sense God's love.

So, if you feel empty, depressed, and without hope, just who is it that you are resenting?
Your husband, your wife, your parent, yourself? or perhaps God?

Yes, do not be alarmed. Most of us in our egotistical way of looking at things resent God. So don't be alarmed if you make this discovery. Just know that He does not hate you back. 

His love, His peace and a restoration of hope await you - just on the other side of letting go of resentment and grudges toward others.   

The other issue that makes it hard for people is a sense of despair (loss of hope) when the help they have been getting to relieve mental and emotional symptoms has not only not worked but has led to all manner of other symptoms, fear of continuing, fear of discontinuing, and a sense of loss of control. 

Loss of a sense of self sovereignty, being in the hands of others, leads to dependency, dread and despair of ever getting out of the maze and the mental fog, or free of the symptoms.

When everything you have tried has betrayed you--boyfriends, drugs, organized religion, career, various brands of spirituality, education, even food. When you discover that  all your lovers are betrayers, this can be a very positive discovery. You are ready to let go  and let God. 

You have made the profound realization that there is no real love out there. A temporary helping hand, yes. A little palliative care, yes. A hug and a free meal, yes. But little more.

The answer is in realization. 

When you  realize wordlessly the truth about the love and help you have been getting, you can also make an even more profound and fundamental realization - something is showing you the truth that there is no love out there. 

In fact it is God's wordless Truth which shines a light and in this light you soul perceives and realizes the truth. The bigger Truth, God's Light of Truth, is shining a light on something for you to see. In this Light you realize the lesser negative truth in the greater Light. 

So now you can breathe a sigh of relief. See the truth. Don't resent it. And don't resent others anymore. Sure, they failed to love you properly. Sure, they may have betrayed you and hurt you. But they didn't know any better. They are lost too. Someone did it to them. But if you receive what I have just written with joy, then you are blessed.  

A whole world of joy and possibilities is waiting to unfold just beyond letting go of resentment. 

 The other thing that might trip you up is your current state of being lost between your ears and lost in emotions. A complementary meditation, such as we offer here, may assist you in getting disentangled from negative thoughts and emotions.  Read more




"Often the hidden reason why people drink, take drugs, and become addicted is because they are running from conscience. They became angry at their parents, partner, or someone else and began to feel uncomfortable about it. They resent other people and this resentment (being a form of unforgiveness) makes them uneasy. So they start taking a little drink, a little smoke or a little pill to ease their discomfort--to either numb their emotions, distract themselves, stimulate or depress their emotions.
But because they are really running from God (but don't realize it), when they try to escape the scrutiny of conscience, each new snort, pill, or puff just adds another guilt. And with each new guilt there is a greater need for relief.

Most of us would like to be forgiving, calm, and reasonable instead of angry--but once we lose control, we don't know how to get back on an even keel.

Therefore, a meditation that helps you get recentered and one that restores you to a right relationship with conscience might be just what you need."

Hi, this is Dr. Roland Trujillo. I have a MS and a Doctorate in Pastoral Psychology and I am the author of 14 books on stress management, emotional health, and improving relationship. I've been helping people with life and relationship issues for over 20 years. 

Just call me Roland

Let me keep it all very simple.

To regain a natural self control and to move forward to better emotional health and improved relationships with others, may I recommend you do 2 things?


Listen to one or two of my 30 minute radio programs. Just go to the archives and pick a title that you find interesting.


Then check out the meditation and look over the resources there.
It's all free. If you don't like it or it's not for you, then you haven't lost anything. But if there are some clues that help you recover - you will have found a valuable resource.

I teach a unique meditation that helps a person become centered and less reactive to pressures. Responding to inner reason instead of outer provocation, the person becomes calmer and begins to exert a positive effect instead of absorbing outer suggestions and tease. It is my belief that we can all be better moms, dads, mates, and citizens when we learn the secret of not getting upset.

Look at it another way. If you could learn to be calm in the moment of stress (without expressing or repressing impatience, anger or upset), you would not add any fuel to the fire. Calmness and reason could be brought to bear, and you might even have a good laugh. 

In order to solve your problem, you must learn to have an attitude of alert preparedness. When the moment of stress arrives, you will be ready for it already graced with calmness and understanding. Now, you will have a twinkle in your eye, meeting the moment with understanding. You will now influence the moment instead of the moment influencing you.

The way to be prepared to meet life with understanding is through a proper meditation. This meditation is learning how to go in a room and become still. Basically observing thought instead of being lost in thought.

You had this calm neutral state of mind long ago when you were a little child. Remember how you jumped from bed in the morning ready for a day of discovery, and not bogged down with baggage from the past? But now, we wake up and immediately start worrying, planning, and sometimes dreading things that upset us and we would rather not face awaiting us.

Now can you see why not reacting and getting upset in the first place is so important? When you don't react, you don't form a memory that comes back to haunt you and color and ruin spontaneity in the next similar moment.

So, to recover from our upsets, we need to do two things. One, learn to have an attitude of alert preparedness so that we don't react and form new traumatic memories. Second, we must learn how to deal with the baggage from the past, memories that keep coming back and tapes that keep playing in our mind.

The meditation we offer helps you with both. First by becoming less reactive, you do not form new bad memories. Secondly, you learn how to stand back and observe negative thoughts and emotions without becoming absorbed into those thoughts and reacting (as if the real thing were happening again). In other words, you learn how to not react with upset to external events and how not to react to thoughts (which can also upset).

Through this practice, you will download (so to speak) enough calmness and understanding to meet the day's vicissitudes. Look carefully, and you will see I have just mapped your path to spiritual recovery.

Incidentally, our meditation is available to listen to or download for free, no strings attached.  Try my free 5 minute meditation and if you like it you may wish to graduate to the more advanced version.


 
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