PTSD Repair, Recovery and Renewal
New! Visit our newMy name is Roland and I am a pastor. I have a take on PTSD, depression, anger, and emotional issues. I see that, for the most part, these negative symptoms are the result of reacting to cruelty and confusion in a trauma producing situation.
And the producer and director of the trauma producing scene is evil. The devil specializes, through his unconscious dupes and ambitious henchmen, in creating trauma.
I once read a story in a speech maker's book of after dinner stories and jokes. The story that illustrates the point about the devil very nicely.
A reporter, the story goes, was asked to report on a new mega movie being made. He arrived at the set.
The director took him up to a high bluff overlooking an expansive plain. "In this scene," said the director, "we will have a gigantic battle scene. We have hired 20,000 extras. One army will be made of 10,000 extras on one side of the plain, and the other army of 10,000 extras on the other side. And both will come together in the center of the plain for the battle scene."
"Wow," said the reporter. "This is going to be the biggest battle scene ever made."
"Yea, said the director rubbing his hands. And that's not the best part."
"What's that? asked the reporter.
"The best part," said the director, "is--they are using real bullets."
It is evil, operating through unaware people, that is the author of all the horror scenes that produce trauma that you see in households and around the globe.
Have you ever seen a flock of birds suddenly turn all together, or a school of thousands of fish all reverse direction at the same time? Whatever mechanism is involved, humans also need some sort of direction. And since we have souls, our direction is ultimately spiritual.
Either our direction is conscience (intuition) guided by our Creator, where we are independent and inwardly impelled, following an inner wordless knowing. Or else our guide is someone else, in which case we are externally motivated. But somewhere behind the scenes, in a hierarchy of unaware ambitious people, evil is pulling the strings.
How else can you explain the Bataan death march, the rape of Nanking, or the current spectre of endless wars? How else do you explain why it took years to pull a drug off the market that caused tens of thousands of heart attacks, when at the trial it was found that a cover up occurred.
How about the emotional abuse, the rejection, the violence, and the confusion that reigns behind closed doors in homes across the nation and the globe, driving kids to drugs, suicide or insanity.
You see, when we are unaware (because we are ambitious, we make something too important, or we are under the spell of emotion), we come under the influence of that power and principality that governs the ambitious, the resentful, the greedy, the drug fogged, and those who become hypnotized by study or concentration. Under cover of false values (or true values, such as patriotism, misused or misapplied), we pressure each other and commit cruelties.
Just notice how impatient and resentful people become when someone cuts in front of them. Intent on a goal of getting somewhere first, sometimes in their anger, they don't even look like the same person anymore.
That is why you must not hate people. For the most part, they are operating egotistically chasing after goals someone else gave them. They are impatient, rude, thoughtless, and cruel in a thousand ways--and do not even realize it.
The man who was tortured and killed for no reason said "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."
If the war seems like chaos, confusion and mayhem. If the leaders themselves appear lost. If you find out they lied to you. If someone you know takes to selling drugs or someone did something bad to you, don't hate them.
For the most part, they do not know what they are doing. When they do start to wake up and become aware, they make an excuse. A parent won't admit she was mean, she says I was tired. The drug dealer says he needs money. The drug seller says he was told it was safe. The bureaucrat says he was just following orders or didn't know. The marketer and distributor of food laden with harmful chemicals says he needs to pay for his health insurance and put his kids through college. They deny reality through their excuse. And when that doesn't work, they become angry.
Through hating, people take in the identity of the one who did it to them. Then to relieve the pain for what they are becoming, they turn around and experience the brief ecstasy and relief of hurting and doing to another what was done to them.
Only those who love the truth so much that they are willing to face the truth, experience the pain, and be sorry about what they have done while they were in the throes of ambition, resentment, impatience, anger, approval seeking, to please someone, to save their hide, for perks, or for peace--only these will be able to remain aware in reality.
These blessed ones will reconcile with the God of conscience, and find a true peace--peace with God. They will then receive grace--the peace of God and the peace from God. No longer unaware, they learn not to make anything too important, not to study too hard, not to seek the approval of others, and not to be resentful.
Now, aware and flowing from a new source of motivation--intuition from God--they are free for the first time in their life to do good.
Are there evil people? Yes there are. They are sociopaths and psychopaths. But most of the people who you will encounter are not evil, just psychotic and hypnotized. They are unaware of the evil coming through them.
That is why you must not hate or judge others. Maybe a person is evil, maybe not. You don't know--he may be and probably is just unaware. He or she may just be an emotional confused person (as you have been), who did not want to hurt you but could not stop himself.
Now you, the aware son, daughter, wife, husband, or neighbor, may do him the favor of pointing out what he or she did. And your light and the good for which you now stand may awaken this person to see the face of love perhaps for the first time. If he or she loves the truth, you will have done him or her a great favor.
From now on forgive others. Don't resent anymore. Let the Light, which you become subject to in the objective state, deal with the bad memories that will arise. Move forward.
Let us go over the ground one more time and see how it all began for most of us when we were kids.
Because we are emotional creatures (until we learn better), we tend to react to everything emotionally. And when we do, we are traumatized. If we were perfectly self possessed, and if we had perfect love (so that we would not resent and hate) and if we had perfect faith (so as to remain unruffled)--we could not be tempted to over-react.
But we are born as first creatures of the earth. As little emotional egos our first traumas are usually at home: an impatient mother, an angry father, a teasing brother or a bullying older sister, or some relative. And once we start reacting, we can't stop, due to the conditioning factor.
You see, we are part spirit and part matter. And because we are in the flesh we are somewhat subject to the environment. We are born first of matter. As little kids, it is only natural that we respond and react to others. And it is only natural that we become emotional. Then, as we grow older, we become less emotional.
But what happens is that there is cruelty in our environment. Evil, if you will. Or people who are not evil, but confused, confusing, and misguided. And we are also exposed to tease--crude or sophisticated. This is at the hands of people who themselves have been teased.
Tease is all they have ever known. They may not have even wanted to hurt you. All they know is that when they hurt another, it temporarily eases their own pain for what was done to them.
That is why you must not resent them. Resentment creates another trauma for you. See that they are unaware of what they are doing. No one ever loved them either. Therefore forgive them by not hating. You will be safe.
Now, as I said, it is only natural that kids will react emotionally. That is what parents are for--to be calm themselves and to protect their kids from traumas through over-reacting--and then to delicately guide them and tutor them in the principles of patience and self control. Unfortunately, most of our parents were themselves emotional, suppressed and out of control.
If we grew up in a decent environment, and were not excessively teased, confused or treated cruelly, we grew up to be big natural egos. Still emotional, but relatively unscathed.
But many if not most of us didn't even make it that far. Our unloved mother saw to it that we buckled under to her authority or else she tugged on our heartstrings with smother of love, because of the default of our weak father. Our siblings teased us, there was bullying at school; or coaches and teachers challenged us to be ambitious.
The one factor that might have protected our innocence--the presence of a noble and principled father who was there for us--is all too often absent. Or worse yet, he was violent himself.
At school there was pressure: ambition pressure, study pressure, sports pressure, conformity pressure, sex pressure, drug pressure, peer group pressure, and so on. Learning was made either tedious and boring, or it was presented in such a way that it was hard to grasp.
Cruelty and confusion are everywhere. And when it has been done to us and we react, we then all too often turn around and dump on someone else--like our little brother, our partner, or our child.
Now do you see why people are angry? There is much to be angry about. All is injustice. But when we become resentful and full of hate, then we become wrong too.
Do you see that PTSD is a result of humans, naturally emotional and faithless, being subjected to some trauma producing situation administered by some unaware people, inspired by and presided over by evil at some level?
Often it is unaware parents, the ones who are supposed to protect us, who are the ones who unwittingly pressure and traumatize us.
A recent book about Doc Brown, a champion athlete, who was subjected to unbelievable unnecessary cruelty in the Bataan Death march is an example. How about Laura Hillenbrand's book Unbroken about Louis Zamperini a warrior Olympian, battered but unbowed, who was subjected to unspeakable cruelty in the prison camps. iris Chang's book The Rape of Nanking describes the unnecessary atrocities carried out in the name of patriotism.
But you don't have to read history books. All you have to do is look at the headlines of today's newspaper to see new atrocities in every corner of the world.
We have spoken of obvious cruelties, such as physical brutality. But there are other cruelties: such as having your food and water withdrawn so you are abandoned to die. There is the cruelty of being told you are fighting for a good cause, only to then find out that you and your friends are sacrificing yourselves for a lie. There is the evil of unnecessary cruelty, of arbitrary cruelty, of injustice, and then of cover up. For example, there is the cruelty and evil of downplaying, covering up or even lying about side effects.
There is the horror of witnessing atrocities, or even being forced to carry out some injustice or cruelty oneself. There is the degrading cruelty of being given drugs for a moral or ethical dilemma.
There is the cruel confusion of being exposed to toxic substances in the theatre of war and then being told it is all in your head.
There is the cruelty of being locked outside when you are 3 years old because you disturbed mommy and daddy during the night. There is the cruelty of being left with a vicious babysitter and then having no one believe you when you try to tell what she did. There is the cruelty of having your favorite doll or stuffed animal thrown away for no reason.
Anger turns into depression. Upset into trauma and nightmares after the date rape, being mugged, witnessing something awful, or just living in a stressful violent environment. There is the trauma of being intimidated by someone who acts nice in front of others, but at home is cruel and confusing.
There is the trauma of being forced to take mind numbing drugs. There is the cruelty of making children take stimulants for just being kids or for "not paying attention."
Evil exists. You cannot see it, taste it or smell it, but it is there; and it operates through people. It is a spirit. It wants you to react to it, so that it can create a new home in you and then live on in a new home. Thus it passes from person to person and from generation to generation.
We all know there is evil because we have experienced it firsthand. Evil wears a thousand faces. Evil can come in the guise of a smiling friend, one who befriends and helps you for weeks, months or even years--only to suddenly betray you. It comes in the face of someone you thought was a friend who suddenly spreads ugly rumors about you for no reason. There is the evil of the angel of death nurse who comes to administer the shot that will do you in.
But if we know that evil exists, we are not so sure that love exists because we may never have seen it. Sure, we have know people who were kind and nice. They may be decent and good, but their niceness was not powerful enough to protect us, guide us, or gently correct us for our ego excesses.
Of course there have been teachers, coaches, grandpas and grandmas, friends, colleagues, mentors, doctors, nurses, or bosses who were kind and helped us. They may have given you a break or been supportive emotionally. For these we are grateful. Yet somehow, though they did the best they could, and though their help got us through a tough place, they were only human. they did their best, but there is yet an emotionless love that you were looking for. You may have teased for it, but were disappointed when it wasn't there.
So you reacted, got out of control, copped out and then took drugs or drank to ease the pain.
To overcome your traumas and to move forward with hope you need one thing. To hook up with your Creator. You need to meet and get to know the Father you have never known. You need to re-find the state of mind you had long ago before your first trauma, and now find that there exists there the power to resolve old traumas and the grace to move forward to a new life where the past fades away and the future holds hope.
But it has to be real and deep and inward, not emotional, shallow and external. Nothing else will do.
I would like to humbly suggest that our meditation may be the technical support you have been looking for. It teaches you how to become still and get out of your thinking and emotions.
It shows you where to find your inner ground of being. It is this inner ground that has the power to restrain you, to protect you, and to guide you. It is wordless and it is from God.
You have known about this inner ground. You were close to it when you were a little child. But you fell away from it when you became emotional and ambitious. Then you doubted its existence. Now you know it only as conscience or as anxiety.
It is Truth from God. Come now and learn to be still. I am extending my hand in friendship. The meditation is free to listen to and download. You will also find two books and pamphlet there, all free to read online. Your friend, Roland
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Most of us would like to deal with life's problems with calmness and understanding. Instead we find ourselves reacting and becoming upset.
The more upset we become the more resentful we become toward others.
We become impatient with them and then we become impatient with ourselves. Soon we start to blame others for our lack of control.
Of course, this is unfair to others. So they react to us. Soon family and relationship problems escalate. Once the process begins, we don't know how to stop it. Either we explode at one another or we repress our hostilities until we are seething volcanoes.
All this repressed material soon erupts in other symptoms. When we can't control ourselves, then we look to experts to control us. Soon we are their subjects, paying dearly for their treatments which never really seem to make us better.
Individuals, families, and the whole world is brimming over in anger and upset. Fortunately there is a real answer to your problem. It focuses on the moment of reaction, when you succumb to some stress.
Look at it another way. If you could learn to be calm in the moment of stress (without expressing or repressing impatience, anger or upset), you would not add any fuel to the fire. Calmness and reason could be brought to bear, and you might even have a good laugh. In order to solve your problem, you must learn to have an attitude of alert preparedness.
When the moment of stress arrives, you will be ready for it already graced with calmness and understanding. Now, you will have a twinkle in your eye, meeting the moment with understanding.
You will now influence the moment instead of the moment influencing you. The way to be prepared to meet life with understanding is through a proper meditation. This meditation is learning how to go in a room and become still before the Truth.
Through this practice, you will download (so to speak) enough calmness and understanding to meet the day's vicissitudes.
What most of us do, on the other hand, is go out into the world and react to something. The rest of the day is spent playing catch up. Plus, there is left over baggage from previous upsets which carries over into the next interaction. Already upset and with adrenaline flowing through your veins, you feel anxious and impatient.
When someone (like your child, for example) comes along, you react impatiently and upset him. Then you feel guilty and perhaps become too nice as a compensation. Soon others start to walk over you, and this upsets you.
It is much better to allow reason and patience to lead the way. When you begin the day with a commitment to knowing and flowing from the Truth in each moment, you become less subjective, less suggestible, and less "upsetable."
All that remains is to learn from this marvelously simple ancient technique. All that is needed is a sincere desire to know the Truth which is greater than you are, and a willingness to admit your wrong.
